There’s an old adage about everything looking better in the morning light. I’m guessing that whoever thought of that had never been punched in the face.

This is real, and I didn’t leave you alone. I have always loved you, and I will love you until the end of time. Now, wake up and live.

John Davis smells like Play-Doh. When we were in elementary school, it wasn’t a big deal. I mean, we were kids. Play-Doh was pretty high on the awesome scale. But there comes a time when a guy should stop smelling like crafting supplies and develop a more manly scent, like campfire or gym floor.

He scowled at the world in general, and me in particular.

Ground Control to Major Spazz. Can you hear me, Major Spazz?

The whole thing made me a little wrist-slitty.

The answer to all of life's problems are out there somewhere its just a question of finding the right book

Are you a murderer?""That depends, are you one of those animal activist[s] that believe meat is murder?

It would be like The Rock versus Seth Green. Now, tell me who he is

Falling in love IS bizarre and creepy